Journal Series I

The "journal series" is a series of posts based on entries that I made into my journal. I think that for many of us introspective moments come like waves. At times they are very frequent and strong...relentless in their push...thundering to make their presence known...and other times calm and serene...almost as if there wasn't any movement at all.
These posts may or may not be verbatim from my journal. Some of them may simply be reflections inspired by what I orginially wrote, but either way, they are another snapshot into some of the things rolling around in my head..... This entry was made on May 12th on the eve of the last night I would spend in Traber Hall, my home for the last 3 years.
I like to try and connect all my journaling with music...here is the song that bests fits this entry...take a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUPDzniTrWs


And so I sit here for the last time in front of Traber as a resident. Tomorrow morning this building, which has been a sacred space...a cocoon of college experience...will no longer be mine. The friendships I have made here, the emotional and spiritual battles fought, the countless sleepless nights (for homework or otherwise), the fears and struggles shared, and the memories that were all insulated by these walls will slowly begin to fade as a new generation makes its dwelling place within.

So much of this building has borne witness to the emotional (and I might add physical) changes that have occurred during my time here. But slowly, the memories of mine that echo within its hallways will fade as the cacophony of new experiences, new residents, and new memories begin to fill her hallways again in the fall.

How does one say goodbye to such a place? And is it fear of what might lie ahead that causes me to hesitate at the opportunity to walk out her front doors for the last time? But then again, this place has marked a part of my identity...of course it will be a little painful to let her go.

Traber has become a part of my identity, but like any external mark that is made upon the body it must slowly fade into the larger entity that makes up our external appearance. Traber has left an emotional tattoo...and it's too early to tell how clearly defined or large it is...

The future is far off, and the past merely echos upon who I am. The echos of Traber may fade, but I simply wish to acknowledge that at the present moment she carries the loudest echo of them all.